Archive

Daily Archives: January 1, 2012

I’m proposing that Star Wars has potentially solved the single greatest storage conundrum faced by man – holiday stringed lights.

So, I was getting ready for a friend’s “Who’s Your Daddy?” costume party (I know, bear with me) and decided to go as Luke Skywalker. My costume was spot on– a manly shift dress and camel leggings paired with a smart ninja knee-high sand boot. My feathered hair, self-tanner and post-apocalyptic utility Zen belt would have Mark Hamill thinking he was getting punk’d on an episode of Quantum Leap.

Anyway, while practicing my best surprised face for when my name is announced for the best costume, I went to strike my best Jedi pose and realized I was missing the most important piece of my ensemble– a lightsaber. Panic!

What was I going to do? The party was mere hours away and my window for crafting genius narrowed because the party was in Brooklyn (of course, where else would a “Who’s your Daddy” party be hosted?). How could I let this happen? It’s like doing Björk without a swan dress or a Kardashian with class –it is just wrong! I began to see my best costume title disappear like a sand mandala taken by the wind. Noooooooo!

While I was wallowing in the defeat of my oversight and thinking of what miserable costume was to take my title, she came to me; my MacGyver Muse and without a minute to spare. I saw the empty tube from the giftwrap I used for my friend’s present and knew instantly what to do. I gathered my crafting essentials and broke into my holiday stringed lights that I had just a week ago packed away. Of course, the lights had somehow managed to knot and tangle themselves like Virginia creeper in spite of my best efforts  to solve this annual crisis. After several long minutes and more than a few expletives, I finally freed a strand and began to wrap it around the cardboard tube to fashion my makeshift lighsaber

While doing this I had the moment of clarity my Muse had probably always intended. What a great way to store holiday stringed lights and keep them tangle free. They are very space conscious; these lightsabers can be easily stored in the tightest of spaces or assembled for neat group storage in clear, flat containers with the rest of your holiday keepsakes. They’re also a fantastic green solution and with the amount of gift warp we go through during the holidays, I’m sure you’ll have enough giftwrapping tubes to accommodate the number of light strands you need to tame and store.

Feeling as if I solved world hunger I hurried off to claim my title and party down like one does in Brooklyn – holler!

Post authored by Josh Schulteis

Advertisements

Charles Dickens seems to have extended the seasonal expiration of ghoulish hauntings through to the winter Holidays. And while I love a parable steeped with tradition, caroling and possibly wassail, I do take issue when the haunting moves from the spinet to my kitchen. Nobody messes with my kitchen!

My plastic containers smell after the Holidays and continue to ‘til the spring. The unique mix of leftover seasonal delicacies, takeout, and homemade treats combine into this ghastly odor that you would imagine could only emanate from the walls of the Bates’ Motel. An odiferous mystery torments my roomates and me as we stare at empty plastic containers and ask each other questions like, “Is that peppermint or curry? When did we have cake and pad thai? Who had ham?” Their smell can only be attributed to supernatural possession; it’s the only logical explanation! I mean it’s what I imagine Slimer’s ectoplasmic goop to smell like… otherworldly and yet eerily familiar…

But have no fear; I’ve recently learned that Jacob Marley and his posse of spectral squatters can be easily smudged out from your plastic carry-alls with no smoking sagebrush required. In fact its so common you might have it in your cupboard right now; white distilled vinegar! Yup that’s it, no need for an exorcist. Simply dampen a cloth or thick paper towel with some white distilled vinegar and wipe the plastic containers clean, lid and all. Rinse with some warm water and they should be good as new.  And when they start to get a little funky again… who you gonna call? WHITE VINEGAR!

Post authored by Josh Schulteis 

%d bloggers like this: