Change is hard. Even if you like change or the change is for the better, it’s just tricky. You may be very accustomed to change, you may not crave a routine the way I do – but I would venture to guess you still have your moments. I thrive within the confines of structure, familiar pacing and a consistent rhythm to my days, so for me change is not necessarily scary, but it is always an event.
I’m moving out of my apartment. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am beyond thrilled about this. I’ve been pestering my husband to move for years and we both finally arrived on the same page, a beautifully illustrated page depicting a gorgeous new apartment, in a beautiful building, in a desirable neighborhood, on a fabulous block. Amen right? Hallelujah even!! So the thing is … I’m kind of a wreck.
I love to pack (honestly I do), I love my new home and I’m sick of my old one and I actually have plenty of time to prep – so why such a disaster zone Stone?!
Because. Because the night I got married I came home to this apartment. Because I woke up one morning and decided I would start a business in this apartment. Because the dry cleaner across the street knows to get out the stain stickers when she sees me coming. And because the coffe shop on the corner knows that when I ask for Splenda I really mean sugar. I know I will have these moments in my new neighborhood, and that the new dry cleaner will know soon enough there will be at least one grand skim latte stain on everything I bring his way – but still, it’s a lot!
I didn’t think it would be hard for me to leave this apartment that has recently come to feel like a cage, but it is. And you know what – its ok. It’s ok to feel attached and to hold on to physical places tightly. The experiences I had here will always be with me though, and slowly I’m coming to accept I don’t need my fourth floor walk up to remember and keep those moments. They will always be with me.
So I’m taking lots of deep breaths, eating a slightly increased amount of ice cream, and carefully wrapping these moments in bubble wrap.
Change is hard, but as soon as I said that out loud, it got easier. Embracing change doesn’t have to mean ignoring or dismissing what came before. Sitting in a moment of transition is naturally a little uncomfortable. I’m telling myself to try to enjoy that feeling and laugh about the messiness of a good, timely transition. After all, soon enough the new routine will replace this moment of uncertainty and I’ll find myself longing for the freedom to not know what’s next all over again.
Post authored by Brooke Stone.